Brace yourself, this one’s gonna be long.

Being unable to understand Teleugu I sit through about five sermons a week where, apart from the occasional English word, I am lost on what’s being said. I still love my time in the Indian churches that are filled with colorful saris, genuine prayers, beautiful worship, and tons of precious kids scurrying about. Apart from contemplating about which language we will speak when we go home to Heaven, I try to process the things I have seen in India during this time.

The word “idol” is frequently used in the church gatherings because many people are Hindu converts. Hinduism dominates the country—colorful temples streak the city, alters for sacrifices line the street stores, and houses are covered with adornments displaying their faith in superstitions. These beliefs and customs are completely new to me and I relish any opportunity to hear more about the complex religion of idolatry.  Of course idols are just as prevalent in America as they are in India. Although we might not bow down to physical statues, selfishness, money, status, and much more rule our lives. For the believer and non-believer alike, idols are dangerous and deadly. In its essence idolatry is entertaining thoughts that are unworthy of God. When we insist on imagining God, we end up with an idol not made from hands, but one made from thoughts. This is of equal offense.

Along with thinking during church services I read A LOT. I’ve read and reread one of my favorite books called The Knowledge of the Holy. This book dives into wrecking false perceptions of God and replacing it with thoughts that are true of Him. Here is a brief description and quotes from HALF of Tozer’s book (hopefully I’ll write the other half in another post soon):

Incomprehensible: To think of creature and Creator equally would be to reduce God to creature, so foremost we must rid this thinking. We like to try and comprehend God because then have Him where we can use Him—it gives us a sense of control and security. We also have this desire because we were made in God’s image. Our soul senses its origin and longs to return to its source. But because sin entered the world, man cannot reach God. Though God is still incomprehensible, the sacrifice of Jesus enables us to understand certain things that are true of God.

Self-existence: For the most part, science and philosophy have not been friendly toward the idea of God. They will admit that there is much they do not know, but it is entirely different to admit there’s something they can never know and will never have the techniques to know. To admit that there is One who lies beyond us, who lies outside of reason, and who will not submit to our curious desire requires much humility and surrender. To begin, God is nowhere while He is everywhere. “Where” is confined by space and matter and God is independent of both. Man however is created, and although we have the ability to choose holiness or sin because we can exercise moral choice, our entire existence is dependent on the breath of God.

Self-sufficiency: God has no needs. To say that He has even a single one would be to say there is incompleteness in His nature. God has a voluntary relationship to everything He has made, none of it is necessary. He is what He is in regard to Himself without any regard to any other. To believe in God adds nothing to His perfections and to doubt Him takes nothing away—this is good news!

Eternal: Time marks the beginning of created existence, but because God never began to exist, time has zero application to Him. God dwells in eternity whereas time dwells inside of God. God has already lived all of our todays, yesterdays, and tomorrows. He appears in the beginning and end of time simultaneously. CS Lewis provides a simple illustration to grasp the difficult concept. God is like an infinitely long scroll of white paper and all of time is small black line that is irrelevant to the scroll.

Infiniteness: God is infinite because he knows no bounds. He is above, beyond, and outside of all. Because His nature is infinite, so is everything that flows from Him. His grace, mercy, love, etc. are limitless.

Immutability: God never differs from Himself. He does not grow or develop. He is perfect and has never been any less perfect than He is now and can never be any more perfect than He is and has always been. In God, no change is possible, but in men change is impossible to escape. This change, or lack of it, is a beautiful gift. Man has the possibility for redemption while knowing that God’s promises will always remain certain. In our efforts to please and find Him, the change must occur within us. God cannot compromise and will not be coaxed.

Trinity: We cannot grasp the mystery of the Divine Trinity. Looking at Hebrews 9:14, we see a beautiful description. Christ, through the eternal Spirit, offers Himself without spot to the Father. The three persons harmoniously act together in all of the mighty works throughout the universe. God cannot divide Himself while one person works and the others are inactive. Our only response to the mystery of the Godhead is to kneel in reverence.

Omniscience: God possesses perfect knowledge and he has no need to learn. There is more--He has never learned and will not learn!

Wisdom: All of God’s acts are done in perfect wisdom, first for His own glory and then for the highest good for the greatest number of people. His wise acts could not be better done and there is no way to imagine them being done better.

Omnipotence: To rule the earth, God must have to power. To rule sovereignty, He must have all the power. Science observes God’s power by identifying His regular patterns in nature and calling it “law.” The trustworthiness of God’s behavior and power allows scientists to predict the course of natural phenomena. This omnipotence is not a name given to the sum of all power, but an attribute of a personal God who is the Father of Jesus.

The listed attributes of God do not even scratch the surface. Hopefully I will summarazie the other half of the book soon. But even so, we will still spend our whole lives on earth and for eternity learning about God’s nature. And even then, we will still not know all of who God is! Crazy stuff.

Life is hard, not many would argue with that. But life here, life in India, can be brutal. A short walk on the crowded streets would scream of it's rawness, desperation, and aggressiveness from every direction.  The orphans, beggars, widows, lepers, uneducated, and dying cannot hide their hurt behind their perfect houses, nice job titles, or clean clothes as we can. They are stripped from everything because they have nothing. They wear reality on their faces. Life here is real. 

The nakedness breathes vulnerability. Tears freely fall and cries are not silenced. The needy come open handed begging for anything and exposing everything. Their hands reveal a lifetime of great hardship and deep tragedy. 

The little hands I have held are dirty, callused, bruised, and most of all, truly remarkable. They love without hesitation or limits as if they have never been hurt before and they give openly as if they have never gone hungry.  The stories behind these little hands are sad but real and they deserve to be heard. The joyful children have stirred a greater appreciation in me for the life I have been given and for all of the times I get to hold their hands.

For these things I am also thankful:

I am thankful I had two parent to watch me grow up. 

I am thankful to have my sight because doctors did not leave me in the incubator for too long. 

I am thankful I sleep under a safe roof that is not the home to deathly cobras.

I am thankful a car did not take my mom's life while she was riding a bicycle. 

I am thankful my parents did not die from liver damage or Hepatitis B or HIV or Yellow Fever or Paralysis before I even knew their names. 

I am thankful a brain tumor did not steal my sister because my family could not afford treatment. 

I am thankful I did not see my dad commit suicide because of debt and alcohol. 

I am thankful my house will not collapse and kill my family. 

I am thankful I never came home to my pregnant mother hanging herself. 

I am thankful it does not take an ambulance hours to arrive to an accident at the expense of my limbs and future.

I am thankful my father did not die from pesticides, a tractor, or dehydration while working on the fields. 

I am thankf that adultery and abuse never drove my family apart to leave me abandoned as an orphan. 

Behind every one of the sad stories, there lies the face of a child whose heart has been broken. A child who can never hide from reality because he or she wakes up every morning fatherless and motherless. This reality is hard, but there is no escaping.  Let this reality cause us to choose joy, to give thanks, to pray for those who are suffering (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

Only one word can do justice to characterize my past week: love. The travelling has come to a halt and I've been able to unpack my suitcase. I am staying at the pastor's house and I spend most of my time at the Children's Home. I see their sleepy faces in the morning and wish them sweet dreams at night. While the kids are at school, I have the privildge to hear and translate the testimonies of how God brought them to the Children's Home. Some of the stories are ones that make my heart leap with joy, while others bring me to my knees with sorrow. It has been such a gift to write about the remarkable children and I am even more amazed that I get to love and be loved by them.

Every moment of these past days has been a pure joy. All of the giggles, hugs, broken English, and tender smiles that have seen more hardship than I will ever know has caused me to fall head over heels in love. It's a love that keeps you up late at night and wakes you up early in the morning. It's a kind of love that draws me closer to my Maker.

So what is this love that our Maker lavishes on His children? Many times the church says, "God is love" as it says in 1 John. But let us think for a moment---words do not originate ideas, they merely express them. To equate love and God is erroneous to the nature of God. If the two are equal, then they are identical and all other attributes of God are inexistent except for that one. The love we see is true of God, but it is not God. To try to grasp the love of god is to try and swallow the water of a bottomless ocean. And if we cannot grasp this limitless love that is only one of God's infinite attributes, how is it possible to tell of this love to others?

A.W. Tozer gives an incredible picture that has helped me better understand this love:

"I can do no more justice to that awesome and wonder-filled theme than a child can grasp a star. Still, by reaching toward the star the child may call the attention to it and even indicate the direction one must look to see it. So, as I stretch my heart toward the high, shining love of God, someone who has not before known about it may be encouraged to look up and have hope."

As Tozer says, we may never know exactly what love is, but we do know how it manifest itself.

Love wills the good of all and never wills harm to any.


Love allow us to recline at the table with Jesus and this has the power to caste out all fear.

Love gives freely and considers nothing it's own.

Love is relentless. God wants our love and will not be satisfied until he gets it. He does not need it, but he wants it. God is completely self sufficient in Himself. He is also completely free, but has allowed His heart to be bound to ours forever.

Love takes pleasure in the object of it's affection. God enjoys and is happy in His love for His people.

Love is active, creative, and kind.

"The love of God is one of the great realities of the universe, a pillar upon which the hope of the world rests."

We've gotten to do some pretty neat things lately. These are some of our pictures and short descriptions!

Yesterday was extremely eye opening and overwhelming...in a good kind of way, one that makes your mind turn a million miles a minute and causes your heart to beat outside of its chest. We went to Thatha's church in Vijayawada and later went onto the city streets. 

At church, we sang Marvelous Light in front of 500 people. It was wonderfully horrible. We were extremely off pitch and it wasn't in Telugu. The worship team felt bad for us, so naturally they tried to help the situation by putting dubstep to it. Expectantly, we went into uncontrollable laughter and couldn't finnish the song.  We answered questions afterwards about God in America and Jenna and I shared our testimonies. 

We later got dropped off on a street, that was to say in the least, complete chaos.  People, motorcycles, cows, and street vendors were everywhere. We stuck out like crazy as Americans. The smells and sounds were indescribable. 

I like to think in lists and they help me to process better. These are some of the paradox's I've seen so far:

Right next to the diamond mega store, a man with one leg was begging. Comparably, a shack made from tree palms is the next door neighbor to a 5 story home. 

In the middle of the street, a man crippled with Polio (a prevalent disease in this country) laid face first on the street with his legs twisted and his ribs poking out of his back. Meanwhile, people scurry around him ignoring the gift they've been given to healthily walk between stores. 

Cows are given food and water to drink while children are forced (most likely by a gang) to be painted and paraded on the streets to beg for money. 

Men are lined up in front of Mother Teresa's Home for the Dying and the Desolate in desperate need for food and love while we were offered free food from vendors that we could not accept. 

Devadaasi, an outlawed Hindu tradition where a wife would be burned alive with her dead husband, no longer exists. However women are still abused and treated lower than men. A justice systems exists, but it does not protect the weak. If a pastor hears of this, all he can do is pray because he will be killed if he reports it. 

As followers of Christ, the most valuable thing we can do is pray on behalf of these suffering people to our good Father. It was extremely hard to not lay hands and pray for the poor on the street. Sadly Christian prayers are not accepted in the mostly Hindu streets and leads to violence. We pray and hope that doors will be open for us to share the redeeming love and healing of Jesus. For now we pray Ephesians 3:18 that the people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ's love.  

For the past few days, we've been staying in Hyderabad with Mama Sajja's family. They are incredibly sweet, welcoming, and hilarious. Since being here we've slept a ton, spent time with family, ate at an Indian buffet, and visited an outdoor market. Thatha Garu (grandpa) imparted some of his wisdom on us before we leave for Vijayawada. Here are a few of the things he said along with what we've gathered:

1. Do not eat red pepper chutney by itself. You're throat will catch on fire.

2. Do not exercise on marble floor while you're sweating, this inevitably leads to slipping.

3. Do what you can to live like the people you're surrounded by (even if you don't understand it) to best honor their culture.

4. Learn to laugh with people when they stare and you stare back because you're intrigued.

5. Do not eat the mint poperee balls after a meal, they taste like soap.

6. Ask about the meanings behind the tapestries, figurines, and other items because you can learn about the Hindu religion.

7. Do not forget about the fresh hena on your hand and accidently smudge it into a blob on your arm.

8. Always be a student of the greats (CS Lewis, AW Tozer, St. Augustine) and be thankful for their easily accessible resources.

9. Do not go to the market without a Telegu speaker.

10. Do not be alarmed of buses, bikes, motos, cows, dogs, and people who weave through the streets with no regard to any traffic rules.

11. Also do not be alarmed of men holding eachother's hands and women wrapping their arms around eachother. The physical display of affection is a lovely display of deep friendship.

12. Always strike up a conversation with the people you're surrounded by on the airplane.

I was able to talk to a man named JD who was on his way to Afganistan to serve as the body gaurd for US ambassadors there. Everyday someone is trying to kill him and he always lives in fear when deployed. He has begun to see the worst in humanity, our government, and religion. JD was refreshingly honest and friendly. My heart broke for him. Please pray that he returns safely home to his 2 daughters and that his eyes may be opened to the hope we have in Jesus.

xoxo

thirtydong

After spending the day packing and saying goodbyes, the time is getting closer and closer to board a very long flight. This morning, I have been re-reading one of my favorite books called Jesus Freaks.  This compilation of the stories of believers throughout history and across the world who died for their faith is amazingly encouraging and convicting. For those of you who do not like to read, I've gathered some of my favorite quotes from the book.

Jesus is everything. -Mother Teresa

Suffering saints are living seed. -Charles Spurgeon

Some Christians haven't even attempted to think about whether or not they would die for Jesus because they haven't really been living for Him. -dc Talk

I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
No wonder my heart is filled with joy, 
and my mouth shouts His praises!
You will show me the way of life, 
granting me the joy of your presence
and the pleasures of living with you forever. 
-Psalm 16

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. -Jim Elliot

The church has an unconditional obligation to the victims of any ordering of society. There are things for which an uncompromising stand is worthwhile. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

We work hard and suffer much in order that people will believe the truth, for our hope is in the living God, who is the Savior of all people. -1 Timothy 4:10

Sufferings gladly borne for others convert more people than sermons. -Therese of Lisieux

Sin loses its power over us when we lay our lives down for Christ--because our eyes are on Jesus. - dc Talk

I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me,
freeing me from all my fears.
Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; 
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
-Pslam 34:4-5

My dear Jesus, my Savior, is so deeply written in my heart, that I feel confident that if my hear were to be cut open and chopped to pieces, the name of Jesus would be found written on every piece. -Ignatius (A student under John devoured by wild animals in Rome 111 AD)